I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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