i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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