all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Couch. On fire.
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