Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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