she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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