Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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