and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize