i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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