I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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