Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.