3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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