Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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