he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
