Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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