nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
