Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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