she was so not down for the gang bang
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
