Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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