We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
