i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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