i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
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It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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