You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
