I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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