I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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