so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
cat food counts as protein by the way
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
