Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize