If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
