Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize