She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
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We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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