i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
