I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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