I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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