Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
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legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize