Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
