so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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