i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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