im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
