I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
