It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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