Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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