I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize