My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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