im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
