i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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