I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
