Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
