I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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