My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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