Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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