she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize