IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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