I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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