Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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