i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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