If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
