I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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