I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
