I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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