he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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