id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize