i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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